Friday, March 19, 2010

**Quaranteen!!** or ' A Flaming Deluge of Itch'

I'll be honest, I've had some concerns about this turning into a 'mommy blog'.  That was not what I originally set out to do and mommy blogs have become so trendy and cliche lately that I really cringe when I think about falling into that category.  However, the reality is,  I'm becoming a mother very (VERY) soon and lets face it,  its the most significant thing I've ever been through, ever done, ever been a part of... its a bit consuming.  Also, it just so happens I got pregnant as soon as I started this blog, so maybe I'm railing against destiny.  At the end of the day - do I really care?  Nah, not so much really.  Plus- these days I don't really have to worry, because instead of a mommy blog this has become a database of maladies, an encyclopedia of heath-related catastrophes, a hysterical screed on sickness - and well.... slightly pathetic.  Now that I've acknowledged that, that's right, I'll own it, let me tell you about this rash!  No seriously... this rash is blog worthy... this rash is epic.  (You know you so wanted to kick off your weekend reading about my rash!)

So if you will recall about two weeks ago I was bemoaning yet another cold and was wailing about how much I missed the simple act of breathing.  Truth be told, as far as colds go, this one was definitely less significant than most.  No sore throat, aches, cough, etc...  it only lasted a week.... in the scheme of colds, I can handle it.  So, after the cold wanned and life returned to normal, as per usual, my darling Dr. Best started complaining of the sniffles.  "Great, another sympathetic illness.  Why can't he just let me be pregnant and miserable without stealing all of my ailments after I have exhausted them?" I think to myself.   "Go chug your nyquil and leave me over here to pout with my herbal tea." (I blame moments like this on hormones).  So a few days go by and I start to itch.  Then I start to itch more.  Then more body parts start to itch... the itching is increasing in both intensity and surface area... what... the... hell.  At first we were thinking allergic reaction, then we talk to the doctor and she says -"nope, pregnancy rash... its common, it sucks, it will go away someday.  Sorry, my dear!"  (Believe it or not, I do take strange comfort in the fact that it takes a whole hell of a lot to get my doctor worked up.  I find it inexplicably comforting when she crosses her legs, tilts her head, smiles genuinely and says "yeah, I hate that for you, but you're going to have to just deal.." So pregnancy rash it is!  More to file away  when moon pie and I are at odds over curfew.

.... and then Hunter starts to itch.

"NO!  NO! NO! NO!  YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY RASH.  ITS A PREGNANCY RASH, YOU DO NOT GET TO STEAL MY PREGNANCY RASH!" (again with the hormones.)  He pulls up his shirt and there it is.... damn if the love of my life doesn't have a pregnancy rash.  So we immediately started sleuthing for the source because, let's face it, if Hunter did have a pregnancy rash - we have bigger issues than territorial tiffs over disease.  We checked the animals for fleas, washed the sheets, inventoried all of our soaps, detergents, etc... nothing stood out.  Then it dawned on us - we both had that cold..... holy crap..... THE RASH IS VIRAL.  WE HAVE A FLESH EATING VIRAL RASH.  Just for fun, Hunter went to the doctor and confirmed this hypothesis yesterday.

So, between us, we're taking 3-4 oatmeal baths a day, we've been through 4 tubes of Gold Bond cream, and an entire container of Sarna lotion.  We went out Wednesday night and had to come home early because my legs spontaneously combusted into a flaming deluge of itch and so since then we've essentially spent our evenings in the bed slathering lotion, trying not to touch anything, and fantasizing about amputating various body parts and sleeping about 3 hours a night...and NOT in a fun and kinky sort of way!  I just took the first benadryl that I have taken in 12 years.  Last time I took it I didn't sleep for days and ended up hallucinating.  Of course, I was also in a very different place in my life about 12 years ago, so I could have that entire experience out of context.  Fortunately, I just ended up in a spherical, drooling mass of slightly-less-itchy exhaustion today... I'm fine with that.

So - there is our epic tale of the flaming flesh-eating viral rash.  I have to say, this has been one instance where misery does love company.   Though  I hate that he's uncomfortable, its been nice being able to hole up with Hunter knowing he can relate to and share my agony.  If nothing else, we've been able to effectively entertain each other!

In a brief baby update, looks like Moon Pie is getting as anxious as I am about moving on to the next phase.  Our little girl is a getting little ahead in terms of size so as of today, we've got less than 4 weeks or so and then we can start talking about getting this party started.  I learned this exciting bit of news on Tuesday and almost as if on cue, I started with the braxton-hicks contractions (fake contractions or 'practice contractions') on Wed.  General consensus is that this is an indicator we've got a month or so left.  That puts us at the week of April 13th, which really and truly seems like tomorrow to me.  At this point, there's really no telling... I do know, the next couple of weeks should be pretty interesting!  I will continue to keep you posted.

Hope all is well with you.  I know back east you're having some serious spring weather.  Its snowing right now but they're calling for 64 degrees and sunshine this weekend.  Maybe I'll go sun my rash!  :)

Lots of love!



Jacques said...

Aww I hope you two feel better. I can image that being a pain.