Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

Sorry its been a while since my last post.  I've been very busy basking in the absence of my flesh-eating-virus.  That's right, ladies and gentleman.... rash free for a week!  You just have no idea.  I will never take for granted having functional skin again.  For a while there, we were contemplating having to raise our daughter in a leper colony... it was traumatic... but we survived.  In order to overcome the rash, however, I ended up having to take a low-dose round of steroids.  You will recall, that BEFORE the rash and steroids my darling bambina kicked so aggressively that she dislocated my rib (on more than one occasion) and earned the name "Bone-crusher Moon-pie Best".  (In my opinion, 'Bone Crusher' is a great compliment to 'Moon Pie' and should keep her out of any trouble on the playground).  So, I will admit, now that she's been subjected to a two week round of Prednisone, I have some concerns about birthing a female version of The Hulk and having to open a separate savings account for anger management classes (and/or bail) in addition to college tuition.  I guess we'll see!

In other Moon Pie news, we had an ultrasound a two weeks ago in order to get a more accurate idea of how she's been fairing with the GD Dilemma (for those of you just tuning in, 'GD Dilemma' is code for the diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes).  There are two main concerns with GD: 1) That we'll end up with what is fondly referred to as a 'mega-baby' (as you can imagine, this makes for a complicated and less than fun delivery (and a bit of a complex as well, I would imagine)) 2)  Blood flow will be inadequate to give her what she needs (obviously, decidedly uncool).  Both of these have been pretty stressful concerns as you might imagine.  The latter we check twice a week, and we're all good on that front.  Now, after our most recent ultrasound, she looks like she's right on track in the size department as well.... Somewhere between 5 and 6 lbs with 4-ish weeks to go.  I'll take it!

So, for those of you who have been concerned about the multitude of maladies that have made up trimester 3, (*KNOCK ON WOOD*) things are looking up and I'm enjoying the last week or two before the bell rings for the next round.

As far as preparations are concerned, Now that I'm not writhing in discomfort for the first time in two months, I'm really just kind of hanging out and waiting.  Waiting, anticipation, baited breath, patience, holding my horses.... not so much my thing.  Not really my forte.  I have other strengths.  To put it kindly, waiting makes me a little irritable and unpleasant (of course, being nine months pregnant probably makes me a little irritable and unpleasant as well) But WAITING.... oh, waiting makes me very very Type-A.

So here's how it goes, I'm a little limited when it comes to being able to do things like, mount shelving, install window shades or pull mutant weeds from the back yard.  In fact, I have found that I am most effective at the following:
1) incessant list making:

  • Lists of things to get done before Moon Pie arrives (please see above reference to shelving, shades and weeds... because the baby is going to care about the weeds) 
  • Lists of things we forgot to get in preparation of Moon Pie's arrival (WE DON'T HAVE BABY NAIL CLIPPERS!  WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!?!)  
  • Lists of things that I need to take with me to the hospital (Chapstick - do NOT forget chapstick ... because I'm sure there's a major shortage of Chapstick at the hospital) 
  • Lists of things that I want knock out before my mom arrives: (get hair highlighted, touch-up nail polish, get a new tube of lipstick and clean out linen closet....) 
  • Lists of things we can do when Hunter's parent's arrive (.... um .... play with the baby? this list needs help) 
  • Lists of foods that I plan to eat post delivery (Pie Pizza, Banburry Cross sour cream/sour cream chocolate iced donuts, Hunter's mashed potatoes, Mama's banana pudding, a chai latte with extra chai, a cherry mochaccinno, omg... wine... I almost forgot wine.... and... ) ... I'm willing to delay the post-pregnancy shape up a week or two to celebrate being diabetes free... though watch me end up in a damn sugar coma... 
 You get the idea.  You can see how, with the exception of the last, glorious list, this could make one maybe a twinge loopy.  Especially since I've not really been in much of a position to accomplish anything on any of these lists (okay, that's not entirely true - I did mount shelving and clean the linen closet this weekend).  

2) Incessant laundry

Y'all, I have found true catharsis in laundry.  It started with the flesh eating virus when I went on a mission to drench everything we touched in bleach at least every 24 hours and never really let up.  I have found that laundry is a completely manageable chore in my condition, as all I have to do is waddle around the house with arm fulls of clothes and deposit them from point 'A' to point 'B' with a pit stop on the couch in front of the Food Network for a brief stint of folding..... and the best part..... how awesome is it going to be to come back from the hospital to all clean clothes/sheets/towels/anything else made of fabric?  How long do you think that will last?  2... maybe 3 hours??  What a grand 2-3 hours, though!  No, the point is, it makes me feel productive as I've felt pretty useless of late.

(Just in case you've grown weary, here comes a rant.... continue on at your own peril)

Now, in reading this, I'm sure some of you are thinking.... "Nesting".  Let me tell you a little something about "Nesting."  Maybe its just me, but when someone accuses me of being afflicted by "the nesting instinct", the only overwhelming instinct I have is to punch them in the nose.  I don't know why it makes me so incredibly hostile.... but it does.  Here's the thing... when you're days away from embarking on the biggest, most significant, most anticipated, most terrifying and wonderful event of your life thus far, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be organized and prepared. Also, what better way to take your mind off of things than to scrub your floors with a toothbrush (if you're in to that sort of thing - I prefer the less extreme version: fold laundry in front of Food Network).  Also, after having been extremely restricted due to sheer girth for the past several months, anyone would start go a little stir crazy and let me tell you, the public does not appreciate you going out on the town to blow off some steam in your 9th month of pregnancy!  At this point the world pretty much sees you as a grenade with a loose, dangling clip and does not appreciate the potential that you might explode in their presence.  So, you say "Cute.... she's got the nesting instinct!" (*twitch*) I say "just stand back, she's uncomfortable, nervous, and bored out of her skull.... someone slide her some earth-friendly, all purpose cleanser and offer her a donut".


kvlm said...

1) Listing is a side effect of motherhood and I have to tell you that once it starts, it does not stop. I still do this and I believe it started in my third trimester which brings me to ...

2) "People" (ie. my husband) still call this nesting even after six years. It's not nesting, it's called being a mother. I hate that word, too; perhaps we should start a coalition to remove it from the every day vernacular?

(oh....and 3: please don't start worrying about shaping up even 2 weeks post-partum; you deserve to relax for longer than that)

Anonymous said...

As braveheart would say... "HOOOLLLLLDDDD!!!"

One other thing... you might want to consider the fact that you may not get rid of the GD for 6 weeks postpartum. just go easy on the sugar fest at first. LOVE YOU!!

bonechrusher hahahahhahahha! why didn't i come up with that?


Laura said...

I love you Julie! You are cracking me up!! I'm SO glad the flesh eating virus is gone. Sheesh! You've been through the ringer. I cannot wait to meet little Moon Pie. I wish I was there to knit and hang out, but know I'm there in spirit and will think of you every time I drag Pinky to bust into the Opryland Hotel pool this summer :) (He's not quite the partner-in-crime that you were!)